


A Question of Height

by laalratty



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 06:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13564581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laalratty/pseuds/laalratty
Summary: It's just what everyone wants. A 4am telephone call from one of Arkham's more puzzling inmates.





	A Question of Height

**Author's Note:**

> As usual I do not own anything apart from a copy of Batman Arkham Asylum.

A Question of Height

 

‘Hello?’

 

‘Selina, how delightful to hear from you.’

 

‘…Eddie? What the hell are you doing phoning me at this hour? I thought you were in Arkham.’

 

‘Alas fair kitten, ‘tis so. It is a most tiresome thing, but hopefully of short duration.’

 

‘Eddie, it’s 4am. Couldn’t you call during normal hours?’

 

‘Sadly, they don’t allow us the luxury of telephone calls. I had to sneak into the office of the ignoramus that they assigned as my therapist. I don’t think Arkham’s administrators will be happy when they see all of the long distant calls that Doctor Young’s been making.’

 

‘Eddie,’ she growled.

 

‘What is something that a friend is always happy to provide?’

 

‘Why do you need my help?

 

‘Well it’s a matter of height, my dear ‘Lina. However instead of taking items, as per your normal modus operandi, I want you to leave something behind. Several somethings.’

 

‘You want me to drop off your riddles for you? Forget it, I’m not your henchgirl, Eddie. Get one of them to do it. Or do it yourself. If you can break out of your cell just to call me, you obviously don’t need my help.’

 

‘He hoist grim facades.’

 

‘Okay that makes no grammatical sense… wait. Are you scared of heights?’ She heard him swallow over the line.

 

‘Don’t tell Jon,’ he pleaded.

 

‘I won’t tell him if you speak plainly for once and tell me what you want me to do. Without the riddles or what was a truly horrendous anagram. It’s too late – early for that.’

 

‘Simply put then, my dear. I want you to hide some small items for me within various places on Arkham Island. Including the asylum itself, of course. And just in the places that I can’t get to – I’ve already handled the rest.’

 

‘Are you mad?’

 

‘The jury’s still out on that one.’

 

‘You want me to break into one of the most closely guarded places in Gotham. Just to hide some ‘items’ of yours because you’re afraid of heights? No, Eddie.’

 

‘Oh well, if you think that it’s too difficult for you.’

 

She could _hear_ the smirk, the bastard. ‘Too difficult.’

 

‘I can see that I was mistaken in calling you. Perhaps I should be talking to Harley instead.’

 

‘Oh, I can do it, Eddie. And don’t think that I don’t know what you’re doing.’

 

‘I would be deeply disappointed if you didn’t.’

 

‘I suppose you want this done as soon as possible.’

 

‘Oh, not at all. Just by the end of this week.’

 

‘That’s three days!’

 

‘Well you’d better get started then. I’ve left the… items in the main vent in Arkham Mansion, along with three maps. I’ll even meet you there. How does midnight tomorrow sound?’

 

‘Goodnight, Eddie.’

 

‘A pleasure doing business with you, ‘Lina.’

**Author's Note:**

> I love Eddie to bits, but really some of those trophies are in stupidly inaccessible places unless you happen to be Batman or a highly talented cat burglar. Add in my love of Eddie and Selina friendship and voila headcanon is conceived and fic is born.


End file.
